I wish I had a dollar for every post I've started but deleted half way through it. I'm sure I'd be close to paying off my student loans. But anyhow...welcome back fellow readers I hope you had a lovely holiday. During my holiday I had too much time and nothing to do, which can only lead to one thing, thinking too much. In my line of work I am trained to analyze, pay attention to detail, and interpret. When I am left to do this alone for too long I can develop some very interesting theories.
These next few posts will be a series of the "Quarter Life Crises" by yours truly. The reason being is while I was in my home town of El Paso, Texas I realized a number of things. One of them being that I have been forgotten by a number of "friends". Don't be mistaken, these people were friends of mine but over the years we've drifted apart and gone our separate ways. Some I've known for what feels like a lifetime and others just a few years. I'm not thinking of one person or one particular group of people, this is all generally speaking. No dramatic event took place or war over some silly scandal, we simply grew up and grew apart.
The strange thing is watching it all happen. Seeing people continue to gather and talk about the same things we did when we were younger but feeling like I'm on the outside watching a movie in a language I no longer understand. What happened? Where did I turn?
Truth is I look back at a lot of things and remember how uncomfortable I was and how unsure I felt.
It's taken me the last year and a half, but I finally feel like I am okay in my own skin.
I'm okay with being the girl that wants to study every subject, that likes to yell when I get excited about something, that enjoys cheap beer and good conversation, who loves old films and curses like a sailor from time to time. I'm okay with dressing differently, laughing at my own jokes, my strange sense of humour, over-sharing my crazy thoughts on life, and dancing like I know what I'm doing.
It's just too bad those people don't know the person I'm becoming and have no interest in finding out. I know I'd love to find who they've become.
Being forgotten isn't so bad I suppose, I guess I'd rather be forgotten for the person I was then be notorious for a person I am not.
goodnight world
xoxo
c
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